Ten Thousand Friends For My Best Song

I'm missing out
On every party this month
I'm working on the weekends
Until I die

There's no reason for me to
Still be feeling this way
Because I'm doing everything right
I'm doing everything right

I wonder how much comes off as
Coping and seething
And how much is actually
Coping and seething

The cars are moving oddly slowly tonight
As if i wouldn't be killed
If I stepped out in front of them
But I ain't got a suicidal bone in my body no more (No more)

Since I stopped listening to
Icons, Abstract Thee
I ain't got suicidal ideation
No more

A friend of mine once said
Isn't this a joyful kind music
And I almost always agree with her
But I couldn't disagree more

A friend said
This is a joyful kind of music
But
I couldn't disagree more

'Cause songs about real lifе only suck the life out of you
And make еach other cry
I spent the last few months staring at my walls
Writing bisexual Dylanesques about Christ and my failures

Guilt is an imperfect form of knowledge
Now, I don't know if that's true
But I read it in a JD Salinger book
Last night

I am not an autogynophile
I'm a garden variety narcissist
And I need you to know everything about me
All the time

I am not the one to cry and beg for forgiveness
Though
I've been known to do such a thing
I just want to tell the truth if there's a truth to be seen

I humiliate myself enough in public
That a little more couldn't really hurt
And if a song ain't about real life
It's nothing to me

Oh, its just more overformality
Oh, I'm just another twee pop fatality
Oops, I said I already wrote the spiteful song in my catalogue
But

Things have a habit of slipping in
When you're trying to talk something else entirely
And yet
You can't listen to Animal Collective without crying

It leads you towards making some kind of remark like:
Can't stop your memory--

(I-I-I wrote a bunch of really mean stuff here about a German movie we both watched on two separate screens at two different times but I decided not to use it in this song

When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark
When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark

Those numbers hold no significance to me
Yours is the only birthday I'll ever remember
Some numbers hold significance to me
But most people's birthdays I'll never remember

We were sisters once and
Bound to each other
A bondage that I thought
Couldn't break

We did some regrettable things
To each other
But I never ever thought
We would break

Do you say my name
In your sleep
'Cus that would be so embarrassing
'Cus I still say your name in my sleep
Now isn't that embarrassing

It's better to lose friends by distance
Then to have them still be so close
If losing friends was an art
Well I'd be the curator of the fucking museum

(When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark)

I thought I was being charming
I thought I was being honest
I thought I was being charming
I thought I was being honest

Before I met you all the songs I wrote were like angry versions of the shit on the side of vitamin water bottles
Art should be about other people and art should be about God
And I don't see a contradiction there

I write a novel in my head everyday seems like, well it's always long
But there ain't always much there

I'm just a lover-girl with an overactive mind
And a copy of OMD's greatest hits
Maybe it's my Dutch flood finally manifesting in obsessing over the wilting flowers of my life

I don't even really wanna be anywhere near you
And I don't want to be your friend
No
I don't wanna be anywhere close to you
I don't think I could handle being your friend

But you profoundly infected me
You pro-you pr— profoundly infected me
And I'm left to deal with that

Now let's hear from my friends
Let's see what my friends have to say on the subject
Yeah let's see what my friends have to say on the subject
Let's hear what they have to say on the subject
Let's see what my friends have to say

(When someone makes a mark, they tend to leave a mark)

Adrian told me that I have a way of
Getting tripped up in my words all the time
Ezra she told me that I have a way of
Saying things I don't mean all the time
Evelyn told me that I have a way of
Denying myself healthy ways to live
Alexei told me that I have a way of
Not living my what I truly believe
Alia she told me that I have a way of
Being too public with my pains
Jaden he told me that I have a way of
Fixating too much on the remains
***** she told me that I have a way of
Being a real fucking asshole
******** told me that I have a way of
Making her feel so small

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
And it's the last one I'll write, I promise
This is an elegy for the toy isle in the drugstore
And mom won't buy you anything

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
It's the last one I'll write, I promise
This is an elegy for the nights spent on the couch
Those nights before everything was consummated

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
It's the last one I'll write, I promise
This is an elegy for being in the passenger seat
And waiting your turn to take the AUX

This is an eleogy for the loss of my second sister
And it's the last one I'll ever write, I promise
This is an elegy for being the guitarist in a someone else's band
And not caring too much if you get paid or not

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
It's the last one I'll write, I promise
And this is an elegy for time spent alone
When your thoughts were left with someone else's bitter taste

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
It's the last one I'll write, I promise
This is an elegy for irresponsibility and good intentions
And all songs that are taken in bad faith

This is an elegy for the loss of my second sister
And it will be the last one I'll write, I promise
This is an elegy for the girl who changed my life
In the naïve hope that she'll be in it agai—