Peyton Place, U.S.A.

There is a place I long to go, and I confess,
It's Peyton Place.
They've got a brand-new meaning for "togetherness"
In Peyton Place.
You should go there if you are feeling lost and lonely;
As you drive into town it says, "For Adults Only"
Peyton Place, that's where you'll find me,
Leaving my qualms behind me.
I'm gonna run away from here and make my home
In Peyton Place;
They've got their own decline and fall of ancient Rome
In Peyton Place.
Everyone's moral fiber's in complete decay there;
They've got a problem cleaning up the PTA there.
Peyton Place, U.S.A.

Everyone walks around the square so overjoyed,
In Peyton Place;
That's where they put the statue up of Sigmund Freud,
In Peyton Place.
They've got a new library there, but here's the snapper:
Every book in it's covered in a plain brown wrapper.
Peyton Place, where the good life is,
Depending where your wife is.

Nobody's got an overdose of scruples
Down in Peyton Place;
All of the teachers learn things from their pupils,
Down in Peyton Place.
There is a faithful husband there, you oughtta see him;
He is the main exhibit in the town museum.
Peyton Place, U.S.A.

They're giving promiscuity a real bad name
In Peyton Place;
That is where "Spin the Bottle" is an adult game
In Peyton Place.
And if you care to know just how their evenings go there,
Nobody's ever seen "The Johnny Carson Show" there.
Peyton Place, U.S.A., my kind of town...
It's Peyton Place, U.S.A.!