Such Impressive Loving Smart Close Friends (Parody of ”Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”)

It was many years ago, they say
That the devil had a prank to play
He took Job and picked him out a crowd
And took everything he had worthwhile
And then he introduced a group
Of friends he'd known for all those years
Who thought they were his only smart close friends

We're such impressive, loving, smart, close friends
We hope you'll let us join ya, Job
Start confessin' all your darkest sins
'Cause that's just what we need to know
Sorry for you, Job
It's partly 'cause we know we're
Probably your only smart close friends

There's something we can't see here
You're certainly in sin
There must be something wrong with your
Relationship with God because
Of something that you've done

"I don't really wanna talk," said Job
"But I thought you might like to know
That this finger-pointing thing is wrong
And I want you all to leave me alone
So let me be excused from you – I want a jury of my peers
And not some petty phony smart close friends!"

We're ... still ... here!