On My Own (feat. Roshini Saru)

I've been going through a lot of pain, that's so unlike me
Ain't nobody else feel the shit I go through behind the scenes
Cold weather, cold nights, I can't get no fuckin sleep
I just lie down there with a mind filled with thoughts so deep
Thinkin bout the past, I'm just lookin for myself
I thought I was keepin it real and I never needed help
I'm someone who keeps a check on mental fuckin health
Now there's nothing you can show that I have never fuckin felt
Everybody actin like they cool but I don't fuck with you
Nobody ever understands what the fuck I've been going through
I've been played by the closest ones, now I got trust issues
The closest ones are the reason why I've been actin new
Tried to make things work but seems like it will never change
Every time I try it just turns out to be the fuckin same
So I'm sittin here, tryin to get a grip, trying to be sane
Feels so empty, how do I get all these thoughts off my brain?
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
Every night I went to bed knowing I had no one
So every night I got so high and I started feeling numb
Did a lot of things without thinkin about the outcome
Every night I go to sleep, I wonder who I've become
I don't fuck with no one coz they be actin fake
They be dissin behind my back actin like fuckin snakes
I accept that I was fucked up and I made mistakes
But all this pain I've been holdin is something I can't take
This road feels endless, I don't know where to start
Maybe I should start it by healin my fuckin heart
It's kinda hard, it's been broken from the fuckin start
I can't take this anymore, yeah, it's a whole fuckin lot
Every day I'm hurtin but I never show I'm fuckin hurt
I don't even know what to do, things are just gettin worse
I'm just focused on the bag so I put in all the fuckin work
I'm hurtin so much I keep forgettin what I'm fuckin worth
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, all on my own
I'm on my own, and it's always been that way
There's been some days when I did not have a stay
It doesn't matter no more what I have to say
It sucks, yeah, had to go this fuckin way
I'm hella tired of feelin all alone in this stupid world
Now I just wanna gift my mom some diamonds and fuckin pearls
Sometimes I didn't even know how I should fuckin feel
I'm writing down words and I'm just keepin it fuckin real
I try to keep it real and someday I will make it
I know it's gonna take time so I'm gonna be patient
But this is so hard, I'm so tired of fuckin waitin
Closest ones tyna bring me down, I know why you hatin
Things aren't the same, all I feel is fuckin pain
All I feel is temptations going thru my fuckin brain
I don't seem to care, I don't seem to fuckin feel
It's like I don't even wanna breathe
I just want to fuckin leave