Kinda Hopeless

Been feeling kinda hopeless
Together but never fixed
Wondering where I'll ever find the upbeat remix
Feeling kinda homesick
Feeling like I've been tricked
Into thinking that I'm never gonna feel it again
But the feelings crept in
They crept back in

I can't tell how long it's been since I've let some lightning in
Let the rain wash away all the mistakes I'd always make
But healing gets scary when you're stuck in your ways

Been feeling kinda hopeless
Together but never fixed
Wondering when I'll ever find the upbeat remix
Feeling kinda homesick
Feeling like I've been tricked
Into thinking that I'm never gonna feel it
Been feeling kinda helpless
Feeling like a hot mess
I don't wanna take the medicine just to feel less
Just wanna feel less stressed
Safer inside my head
I'm filled with all these things they're telling me I'll be but instead
Instead I feel hopeless
I must be helpless

I try to see the sunlight
But the clouds block the bright side
I wish I could get it back
But it seems my past still fades to black
Healing gets harder every time you're
Over explaining everything cause no one sees what I see
How my mind is a minefield a battle without a sword to wield
Or even a shield or a bandage to heal
All the wounds still bleed and they'll never see
Can't manifest when I'm affirming this

Been feeling kinda hopeless
Together but never fixed
Wonderin if I'll ever find the upbeat remix
Feeling kinda makeshift
Feeling like I've been tricked
Into thinking that I'm never gonna be sick again
But that sickness crept in
It always creeps back in