3:30 Thoughts

[VERSE]

There's a number of things I want to talk about
And to get it off my chest like benelyn right now
I might think about it time and time again, time and time again, time and time again
Look
I wanna be happy with peace like everyday
But the pain we carry in us is like heavy weight
And with my mistakes, well dare I say
It's like pain was addictive to you man in that case
I fear losin' people
I fear diein' and findin' myself with the evil
I fear bad events might repeat like a sequel
I fear fallin' but I gotta fly like an eagle
I fear losin' my feathers before I even fly
Those are the thoughts I get from time to time
Man if you think about it, do we live to die?
Lord please help me 'cause my mortal mouth ain't that wise
And now I'm well aware
That you actually cared
I didn't visit you a lot when the reaper was near
But they say I looked like your husband, to you that wasn't weird
Maybe something would've changed if I was really there
For you or for them
"A real one" is a fortune
That time when I had it inside my hands I was distorted
By the vision of quantity that doesn't last long
You only learn to appreciate it when it is gone
Yeah
I'm just sayin' like goku
Maybe I could've been further with this but then I chose you
Maybe with the right chemistry and we see the right image
The connection we had could've lasted more than minute
I'm beating around the bush and I'm scratching the surface
But you can't let what's behind you just determine your purpose
Lookin' at your arm I think about "were they really worth it"
Even if I would ask you, you might close all of the curtains
Now that's part of the past, we're opening a new chapter
Those who know me know I'm anxious of the future and afterlife
I'm kind of scared that I die without reaching my purpose
Or I end this life with the value of things that were worthless
There are people who thought I had "it" way more than I did
Others thought I would be stagnant just like a horizon
And because of those I keep on risen' like I'm hikin'
But I can't lead nobody else if I'm also blinded
But then the weight on my shoulders feel like I'm holdin' too much
Responsibilities be growin' but I shun away such
What would you do if all your homies would be chasing a cheque
Seein' you in commercial and them in a private jet
Possibly the pros and cons of bein' an ambivert
Social or anti-social a bit of both for me work
A lot of us go around living life like geometry
We try to prove ourselves so they can see who we tryna be
Yeah
And I know I'm tryna be a better man
If I wronged you in the past let's let it go man, if you can
But I can't keep on actin' like the departure didn't sting
But I got to keep my circle tight just like a wedding ring
They say you should beware of the ones that don't speak
And if you never knew I'm the one who's the youngest of 3
They say the third luck is the charm we'll I guess that'd be me
This is B double E if you never knew me