Quickly Turning Into A Comedian

[Verse 1]
It was late last night, I was up on my phone
As I write another joke or two
Then I fell asleep, and the thought slowly creeped up
"This could be something that I always do"
Well I woke this morn with a cold and a cough
And a thick layer of sweat on my brow
Oh my migraine drains any energy left
I'm left here wondering why and how?

[Pre-Chorus]
How in a day my body's changed
I think I know just why I'm feeling strange
I proclaim with a weary breath
A fate worse than death

[Chorus]
I'm quickly turning into a comedian
I'm sorry for your loss, but this is my end
Alienating all of my friends
I'm quickly turning into a comedian

[Verse 2]
I look in the mirror, now I have facial hair
And a disregard for how you feel
People bitch and whine, but I don't really care
I'm just getting footage for my reel

[Pre-Chorus]
Well maybe soon they'll find a cure
Until that day I can't be sure
I flail at night trying to stay alive
I'm working on my tight five - Oh God

[Chorus]
I'm quickly turning into a comedian
I'm sorry for your loss, but this is my end
Alienating all of my friends
I'm quickly turning into a comedian

[Bridge]
I've caught the bug, I need the drug
Come on and give me another hit
I'll plagiarize and poorly satirize
It's really just some bigoted shit
Maybe it's always been in my soul
The need for new material
Spread through me so fast, so venereal
Woah oh oh oh

[Pre-Chorus]
I can't believe it's come to this
I should have seen this coming, I can't dismiss
I'm out of college, out of shape with no career in sight
Attention seeking, and I'm white

[Chorus]
I'm quickly turning into a comedian
I'm sorry for your loss, but this is my end
Alienating all of my friends
I'm quickly turning into a comedian
I'm sorry for your loss, but this is my end
Alienating all of my friends
I'm quickly turning into a comedian

[Outro]
A true comedian
And I'm taking you fuckers down with me
As I become weaker and nauseous and sickly
I'm quickly turning into a comedian