Fire and Ice

Longer I live, more I become my own villain
Quicker I die, the hero inside, overcomes sinning
Summer days, winter nights... double minded ways, compromise
Dark days, Bright nights... fog and haze from the fire and ice

I didn't know that this walk came with so many requirements
Temptation knocking, I should just ignore it, but it's easier to invite her in
We're like temporary roommates, maybe got out on a few dates
Then get to the place where I say "What the heck am I doing here" but it's just too late
I miscalculated my own math, I took a stroll down the wrong path
I feel I deserve everything that is coming to me, including the Lord's wrath
Every time I say, "Lord, I'll never again", I feel that my flesh gets a hunger for more
I've asked for a greater conviction, but when it arises I say, "Why are you bothering me for"
I'd rather accept that my life's disappointing, then trying to stay strong when I know I'm avoiding
The accusations and the condemnations from my weaknesses that the enemy's exploiting
Why must I remain in this tug of war, why can I just die and be home with the Lord
Feels like my emotions are all out sorts, if this life is fencing, then I'm without a sword
I don't see a way for me to overcome, I'm trying to fight but I really should run
Just throw in the towel and say that you're done, you can plot your escape, all you need is a gun
All these suicidal thoughts got me open to it, I'm accustomed to it, so I'm supposed to do it
Lord it's really hard for me to trust you through this, I really need you to help get me through this

Longer I live, more I become my own villain
Quicker I die, the hero inside, overcomes sinning
Summer days, winter nights... double minded ways, compromise
Dark days, Bright nights... fog and haze from the fire and ice

It's easier to say "I'm the victim" than "I'm the one to blame"
Constantly finger pointing with 3 pointing back to tell me I'm the one playing games
I'm driving myself insane, tripping myself going down the lane
Swinging the bat with no kind of aim, purposeless living no die to gain
Here we go again, same cycles, same patterns, same occurrences
Every time I see what I should be doing, my flesh arises with the same resurgences
All I hear are the same assurances, repent for your sins and you'll be forgiven
The problem is that my repentance has become a justification for how I've been living
All your mercy Lord, I've wasted away, with all of the warnings I should of obeyed
Buffet the flesh well I chose the buffet, took forbidden fruit and made a sorbet
I walk out of church feeling motivated cuz my spirit's willing but this flesh is too weak
I've dug myself way too deep, shovel still in my hand cuz I can't stop feeling so bleak
Is there a way you could ignite a spark, jumper cables to give me a new start
Broken fragments from this wounded heart, will you meet with me if I do my part
I'm stuck in the pit, but your hope is a rope, drowning quick but your faith keeps me afloat
Can I endure, Lord I really don't know... this compromise got me so hot and so cold

Longer I live, more I become my own villain
Quicker I die, the hero inside, overcomes sinning
Summer days, winter nights... double minded ways, compromise
Dark days, Bright nights... fog and haze from the fire and ice