Vaporub

Kept my heart locked away, kept it far away from me
Found a place by the river where nobody goes
Buried far beneath the levee

Places where I used to go, when it rained, my heart went deeper
Deep blue underneath the sea, washed away for no one to see

I don't have the feelings I'm supposed to know
I don't get the feeling that you understand
Only get the feeling that you're feeling sorry for me
That's never been the point of what I've said

Never really knew what love was, mixed it up with other thoughts
Growing up alone doesn't help one sort it out
Even when you're here, you're not

Never learned to trust another person
Never knew a person who could understand my words
Why I chose to share them, I will never know, but knowing
No one took the time to understand

Do I want forgiveness, or the thrill of maybe knowing
I could change direction, never caring where I'm going
Sometimes all the time it takes to make your destination
Isn't charted out as clearly as it seems

Now the smell of vaporub comes over me
All the shame of weakness builds again
Rules and expectations I can't follow any more
I became the person that I am

Wouldn't want to make you think you haven't found a way to me
It's only that it's not as simple as it seems to be