Lose That Much

Dissociating on arrival
Leaving my body in my car
I planned on staying for awhile
But enjoying this is too hard

Now I’m driving home
The lights remind me of when I felt safe
Now I’m all alone
Wishing that I never showed my face

The wounds haven’t healed enough to take the bandages off
So I’ll still run away even if I wanna stay and talk
I hope you know that I don’t hate you, I’m just bent from where I’ve been
Maybe one day I’ll come over and gladly let you in

But for now, I’m heading out because my mind has gone astray
You didn’t lose that much ‘causе you don’t know me anyway

I guess we’rе friends though it seems off
Even when you laugh with me, I feel alone and lost
You know me, just no the torrent in my heart
You know me, but a version of it that’s torn apart

Now I’m driving home
The lights remind me of when I felt safe
Now I’m all alone
Wishing that I never showed my face

The wounds haven’t healed enough to take the bandages off
So I’ll still run away even if I wanna stay and talk
I hope you know that I don’t hate you, I’m just bent from where I’ve been
Maybe one day I’ll come over and gladly let you in

But for now, I’m heading out because my mind has gone astray
You didn’t lose that much ‘cause you don’t know me anyway

I just wanna trust you
But that’s something I can’t do

Now I’m going home, though you wanted me to stay
I’ve gotta get out before you see what’s really in my brain
I’m scared of feeling worse than this, so I’ll be on my way
You didn’t lose that much ‘cause you don’t know me anyway