A Pirate Christmas
(Cap D)
Yo ho ho! It's a Pirate Christmas
Let's make our wishes to steal Santa's riches
It's Christmas time and we're stealing dimes
Us pirates on the seas living lives of crimes
We're on the naughty list because we turned a trick
And plundered the sled of that old St. Nick
It's a pirate's life for me this year on Christmas
Yo ho ho ho! We'll steal Santa's bag of riches
That's the present pirates want for Christmas wishes
Yo ho ho ho! We'll take his dough cause we're that vicious
(Cap D)
From Santa Clause we asked for 20 macaws
Or birds of prey that he could bring on his sleigh
Among other things, we asked for diamond rings
And to cover our ship with the richest bling
A gold hook for me cause I'm an amputee
And 7 gold ingots from the port of Belize
A shinny new compass would do well for me
And a map to the treasures that are lost out to sea
A barrel of rum before this list is done
For me pirating ways, a new flintlock gun
New flag's to be had cause this one's in tethers
Me mate Sea Dawg wants new hats with feathers
One-Eyed Willy wants a new glass eye
'Cause the one he's got now makes him look to the side
Cannons and mortars, we'll take just a few
And a new cook aboard who can make better stew
Barnacle Bill, he'd like a tattoo
Of wenches doing things that are surely taboo
And last but not least we'd like to run Santa through
We'll fire the cannons when he comes into view
It's a pirate's life for me this year on Christmas
Yo ho ho ho! We'll steal Santa's bag of riches
That's the present pirates want for Christmas wishes
Yo ho ho ho! We'll take his dough cause we're that vicious
(Cap D)
So we waited for Santa in the Port of Main
Off the starboard side we heard the bells as he came
Ahoy me gunner, set a volley or two
So he let off the cannons he knew just what to do
With a glorious roar we fired away
But Santa called to his reindeer to speed up his sleigh
The Sled came to a stop at the edge of the ship
And he jumped on board doing a ninja flip!
Avast, ye Santa, what a pleasure indeed
We plan to board yer sled just to make ye bleed
Now gimme yer bag filled with pirate stuff
From the list that I made I'm sure there's enough
(Santa)
Ho ho ho! You privateers
I've come only to wish you Christmas cheers
We received your list up in the North Pole
But I brought no presents, I shall leave only coal!
(Cap D)
Oh what's that Santa? Ye think yer tough?
Rope him up mateys, we just called his bluff
We're gonna rob yer presents then scuttle yer sled
That's all fer Christmas, Santa's good as dead
"Walk the plank!" I screamed at St. Nick
But he caught me in the shin with a karate kick
Then he called to his reindeer and aware of his peril
They knocked down my men just as if they were barrels
Santa jumped in his sled and away he sped
"Ho ho ho!" he exclaimed as he fled
Curse ye Santa, and the waters ye tread
Oh I hate that Santa and his suit made of red
(Santa)
Ho ho ho! Now the joke is on you
You stole the wrong bag fer yer pirate crew!
(Cap D)
When we checked in the bag, to see what we stole
Tweren't an ounce of booty, Santa left only coal!!!
It's a pirate's life for me this year on Christmas
Yo ho ho ho! We'll steal Santa's bag of riches
That's the present pirates want for Christmas wishes
Yo ho ho ho! We'll take his dough cause we're that vicious