A Sheltered Life

(What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?)

(Too much sex and violence
Too much sex and violence
Too shocking even for Channel 4
Too shocking even for Channel 4)

I’ve never been insane or put my baby on a plane
With a suitcase that’s alive and ticking
And your honour, I confess that I’ve never tasted meths
Or hid a gun in a box of fried chicken

Never been to Amsterdam, left my heart in Vietnam
Or sold gum on the streets of Mexico
Never smuggled pot or been murdered in my squat
Two stories from the top of a no-go
Go

I’ve never had to steal, sell my body for a meal
Cigarettes, alcohol or drugs
I’ve never had a tattoo or a scar that wouldn’t heal
Pump it up, Jack, pump it up, Jack, pump it up

I’ve never been on strike or a speeding motorbike
Been propositioned, beaten up or mugged
I’ve got 20/20 vision but I’ve never seen the light
Pump it up, Jack, pump it up, Jack, pump it up

And if you’re looking for trouble
You came to the wrong place

I’ve never gone cold turkey in a shed in Albuquerque
Or played chicken on the railway line
Never been a litter bug, given head, taken drugs
Pump it up Jack, pump it up, Jack, pump it up

Crack that whip across my thigh
Stick a needle in my eye
Cross my heart and hope to die
I’ve lived a sheltered life

Fruitbat

(Too much sex and violence
Too much sex and violence
Too shocking even for Channel 4
Too shocking even for Channel 4)

Never been to Amsterdam, left my heart in Vietnam
Or sold gum on the streets of Mexico
Never smuggled pot or been murdered in my squat
Two stories from the top of a no-go

(Sounds like a lot of supernatural baloney to me
Supernatural? Perhaps. Baloney? Perhaps not.)

Pump it up, Jack, pump it up, Jack, pump it up

Never gone cold turkey in a shed in Albuquerque
Or played chicken on the railway line
Never been a litter bug, given head, taken drugs
Pump it up, Jack, pump it up, Jack, pump it up

Crack that whip across my thigh
Stick a needle in my eye
Cross my heart and hope to die
I’ve lived a sheltered life

(He’s okay, he just fainted)