God, Saint Peter and the Guardian Angel

Kids are playing gangster wars
They don't believe in Santa Claus
The baseball bats are soft of course
The blood is just tomato sauce

As icebergs go, it's just the tip
The start of the apprenticeship
A short, sharp Glasgow, kiss me quick
Karate chop and Kung fu kick

And in the wings the grannies wait
Doing things that grannies hate
Queuing to accumulate
A pittance from the welfare state

Then back home on a forty four
Put the chain on, lock the door
Cross another five bar gate
Sit and wait

Don't open the door don't talk to strangers
You've not met before
Your guardian angel will watch over you
If your guardian angel has got nothing to do

In space no one can hear you scream
Because no one's really listening
Saint Peter's got his gates to clean
And God's too busy saving queens

To ever get down off the fence
And give the meek their inheritance
So it's only common sense
To get yourself some self-defense

Don't open the door don't talk to strangers
You've not met before
Your guardian angel will watch over you
If your guardian angel has got nothing to do

Don't open the door don't talk to strangers
You've not met before
Your guardian angel will watch over you
If your guardian angel has got nothing to do

And so we leave this nursery rhyme
This grizzly gruesome pantomime
From the cradle to a life of crime and back again
And now it's time to say goodbye