Not a Phan

[Intro: Cathcart]
That’s Jason Phan, with a P H
Only rate you 10 on the pH
Cuz you’re basic, and I base it
Off of how you're bland but can't face it
Basically, I took GarageBand
And I made this beat, right on command
If you're facing me, you don't got a chance
You're Jason P, but I'm not a Phan

[Chorus]
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan
Project an image of yourself that isn’t there
But I see right through it like a hologram
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
We coming for you, hope you got a plan
Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands
But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan

[Verse 1: Josh]
Not a Phan, never been a fan
I don’t give a damn if you’re in a jam
You ain't nothing but a flash in the pan
But you always act like you're the frickin man
Mr. Phan, you say you’re fantastic
That’s a stretch like Mr. Fantastic
This a damn classic, this the last straw
Just like how California banned plastics
Yeah, we putting on a show for ya
I know you need your mom to chauffeur ya
I ain't even have to lie since
You don't even have a license
You don’t even have a permit
Man, you winning, I can’t permit
Oh, and when it comes to your hair
Why’d you have to go and perm it?
Homie, let’s duel, let’s get brutal
Why’s your hair looking like a wet noodle
Or the fur of a pet poodle
Or a two year-old’s best doodle
Why's it always look wet too
Like you greased it up with some jet fuel?
You ain't nothing but a little fool
Been minuscule since middle school, so

[Chorus]
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan
Project an image of yourself that isn’t there
But I see right through it like a hologram
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan
Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands
But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan

[Verse 2: Cathcart]
Not a fan, man, it’s clear that you’re weird
Your shrill voice always pierces my ears
I see you got around to piercing your ears
Just so you can go look fierce in the mirror
Bro, you're a poser who goes for the trends
Over and over and over again
See, you're playing tennis, but I’m the one raising a racket
And serving you over the net
That’s a tennis pun, and I hope you’re ready for more, Phan
None of this is backhanded, but I’m sure you knew that beforehand
I’m the card guy, so I’m acing you, and you know that
It’s basically game, set, match, except you’re no match, Jason!
And I know it’s weird that we’re both named Jason, but although you
Have the same name as me, you not the same as me
Shamefully heinous, disgracing it blatantly
Famous for fakery, aimless and fatally
Flavorless, even your favorites favor me
If I’m ranking the Jasons, we go Jason C
Then Jason G, then Jason G, then Jason P
You were born after me and named after, might as well copy me verbatim
You ain’t Jason, you’ve been nothing but an imitation since day one
And say, son, other than our names, there’s nothing we have in common, man
You’re the bottom, and my last name is different, so I’m not a Phan

[Chorus]
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan
Project an image of yourself that isn’t there
But I see right through it like a hologram
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
We coming for you, hope you got a plan
Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands
But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
Yeah, we coming for you, hope you got a plan
Project an image of yourself that isn’t there
But I see right through it like a hologram
Not a fan, no I’m not a fan
We coming for you, hope you got a plan
Thinking you’re the man, cuz you’re rocking brands
But you’re awful bland, so I’m not a fan