Drive Dangerously

I’m waiting for someone to tell me
"Do what is best for you"
So I can use it as an out
So I can blame someone else

And I know that I should not be so concerned
With how the future plays out
All that matters is now
All that matters is how

We deal with falling flat on our faces
And how we stay positive in all the same places
When we close our eyes and the inside of our minds
Is a world more dystopian than all the novels on our bookshelves combined

Goddamnit, this has to be it, the last time
I losе a bet with myself
Goddamnit, this has to be last timе I break a promise
To drag myself out of hell
Goddamnit

I just needed to hear from someone else
That I’m not all I thought I was
Or even on the right track
Another anxiety attack

I thought I’d glide through life gracefully
I thought where I was was still the place to be
Thought I was paying dues, but I was paying late fees
And now you’re waiting on me

Goddamnit, this has to be it, the last time
I lose a bet with myself
Goddamnit, this has to be last drive away from you
Back to hell

I drive up to you every Friday night after a week of feeling dead
All that comes down on Sunday night are the shreds
I drive up to you every Friday night feeling hopeful and whole again
All that comes down on Sunday night are the shreds

I drive fast when I know you’re waiting
I drive dangerously just to get away

You get mad when I keep you waiting
I’ve come dangerously close to death
I’ve come dangerously close to dying