Trying To Pass Off Playing Merge Games As A Form Of Meditation

I tried to find a way to fix what feels like nature so it’s stuck
Hard to embrace what can not change when it just makes you feel fucked
Some pains they felt they vanished after so long unaddressed
When I’m alone too long I find these feelings were all repressed

Hold my nose and breath and swallow three
My chest bubbles up with escapees
Gulp twice more if body does so please
Then release

And so the method hеlps you cope, return to memorizеd routine
So I am pacified by reminders of times my mind was clean
It’s sure not cure but distraction is the safest in between
Just to get me through this moment, this hour, this day this week

Tap legs, tug hair, smoke and stare at screen
Meditation seems too hard for me
But repetition helps these hard thoughts breathe
Zone out reprieve

So contemplation enters self-flagellation easily
I beat myself up but I’m now speaking metaphysically
The existential dread debilitated with such frequency
So I need coping mechanisms to still live peacefully

Hiccup cures, and counting games I need
Record breaking swallow-fest indeed
Reasoning fidget behaviour, they read
As hyperbole