Everything I Never Could Be

Used to pull out the driveway in a Hyundai
Used to treat my music like a runway
I was living, working hella jobs, sleeping like wherever
And smoking every day like it's a Sunday
I would hit my friends, like, want to match
Yeah, I'm at the crib, you want to come through with a bag
We could shoot the shit, a shotgun mic with your name on it
Let the trigger slip, yeah
I've just been caught up inside the moment, tossing and turning and losing focus
Felt a little jaded about my past, had to reflect for a second
And get a grip of the future that I've been stoking
Living way too fast, needed to the roll windows up I guess
I was hot to the touch but feet were frozen
Life's a perfect mess, ain't no sense in fixing it
I'm blessed, plus, like every time I try, I get depressed, yeah
But maybe I just try too hard, or care too much, maybe I don't like my boss
Maybe I hate my job, or hate my friends
Or just afraid to admit that sometimes I need my friends
I've been a really bad friend, but a really good artist
Like them pictures by the bed of people we don't acknowledge
I got a palette of rhymes, got more lines than Pollock paintings
And some murals in my head I still ain't demonstrated, wait up
Got a talent to die for, love I'm alive for
If the good die young, I'll take the place of my father
I need that music to ride for, people to fight for
If the good die young, I hope the bad die alone
I had a couple of phones, had a few different numbers
I had to drop 'em like habits, I had to live me my life
Killed a real good rhyme, but life is never easy
So let a missed opportunity be a chance to teach it
And I can see you reaching, but ain't a thing in my cupboards
I think I turned out pretty good, and that's word to my mother
You got a closet full of skeletons in a room full of people
Put my problems in my songs and fill up rooms full of people
So that's the difference my baby, I don't care if I make it
No matter what I be facing, remember all of your faces
Cause I'm already everything I never could be
Just found a way to build off everything I was, that's what's up
I just felt like rapping, I just felt like rapping
Just trying to enjoy myself