Uncle Harvey’s Plane

Well me 'n' Oliver 'n' Virgil's in the feedstore killing time
When my eyes fell upon this magazine
I got to reading this here article about sky-diving and parachutes
And it said jumping out of airplanes was the thing
Being raised down on a ranch n always ready for a little adventure
I knew that I could figure out a way
Well Delmer Gill's got a parachute and Uncle Harvey's got an airplane
So I said Call the boys together, today's the day

I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an airplane
Wasn't nothing but an engine and a wing
And I could feel my fear a-rising as Delmer packed the parachute
'Cause he kept telling me I was doing the right thing

John McLoughlin shook my hand as JD strapped me in the harness
And Tildon brought a jug and passed it around
I took one look at that airplane and at that parachute and that whiskey
And I tipped that bottle up and drank it down

Well I was drunk as Cooter Jones when they poured me in the airplane
And the engine coughed and headed for the clouds
But I was sober as a judge by the time they opened up that door
I've never known my heart to beat so loud

I said, Tildon, I can't do it as he kicked me out the door
And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear
And I was holding on real good 'til that sucker stepped down on my fingers
TJ said he heard me yell from way down there

I thanked God and Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened
I said Well, heck there ain't no use in being afraid
And I went crashing through the hen house, scattering chickens and breaking eggs
And I kissed the ground and fainted dead away

Now friends I've done some fighting, and I've been shot at once or twice
And I've dang near got run over by a train
But I don't ever once remember being any more afraid
Than the day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane