Heinous Anus

10 am, and I hit the alarm

It's been 5 short hours since I tied one on

And on the way to the kitchen for my morning cup

I gotta run to the can before my bowels erupt

Grab my knees and howl like a dawg

I've got a 12 inch long jalapeño log

You can keep that Thai, yeah I think I'll pass

I ain't got a week to nurse my ass!!!

I just want a normal stool!

Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus!

I've been on the throne all day

I can't face the world in any other way

Help me out,

I wanna be someone who

Doesn't start the morning with a molten poo!!!

I don't want this screaming hoop!!!

Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus!