Dreadful

you're a dreadful
memento of mountain air
couldn't breathe you in if i wanted

i saw your shadow
in a cigarrette flame
in a sudden lapse of conscience

now i keep a nicotine patch
and a whiskey glass
they're all that keeps me company

i wish i didn't hold back
but that's all in the past
on the highway outside stockton

im just a shell of that person that person that i used to be
empty hotels front page of the magazine
i wish you could tell on the inside what is happening
who are actually my friends not company?

i keep a crisp clean bag and a wad of cash
on the outside im disguising
who you think i am but im not anymore
maybe you'll find out in the next one

iii
wouldn't be suprised
if you were against me the whole time

god it's sinking in

i don't wanna die
but i think i might
my chest is caving in

baby you're a dreadful
memento of mountain air
couldn't breathe you in if i wanted

i saw your shadow
in a cigarrette flame
in a sudden lapse of conscience

now i keep a nicotine patch
and a whiskey glass
they're all that keeps me company

i wish i didn't hold back
but that's all in the past
on the highway outside stockton