Hold Back Tears
[Hook]
This ain't about the money
This ain't about the deal
This ain't about the cars, or the hoes, or the whips
Think you know, but you got no idea
How hard this is trying to hold back tears
[Verse 1]
K, let's talk about my past
Momma raised me a week without a dad
Only six or seven i imagine we was bad
Cause we got beat by every boyfriend she had
With extension cords tearing flesh off of our ass
Bleeding through our draws
Blood leaking through our pants
No wonder we couldn't sit still in class
Til this day momma say it never happen
Guess it's just bullshit and
Me and Rick imagine
Either way i gotta two year old son
Honestly momma's never asked about him once
Never kissed him on his cheeks
Never looked at him and smiled
Maybe momma don't believe that the baby's even mine
Momma watch me fight day and night just to be with him
Maybe she hate him cause it's me that she see in him
Had us both when she was only seventeen
Guess we ruined momma's dreams of being homecoming queen
Sorry momma but i never asked for this
Not once did i asked to be your bastard kid
Momma told me fuck rap get a job
But if i didn't sell dope we'd starve
Now i got a deal
Momma treat me like a star
And she yet to ask me how i'm doing when she call
Instead she tell me she want five new cars
I just tell her yes ma'am and wipe the frown off my heart
[Hook] (x2)
[Verse 2]
Say my brother's all i have
We grew up together but we grew apart fast
Our family portrait is torn in half
And he blame me for all the hardship he's having
I never knew why but he hate me with a passion
He feel neglected, he feel abandonned
We don't get along now, we always clashing
We use to be close though
Don't now what happened
I love him to death though, hope he don't attack me
Don't understand why he got so much hatred
Brother threatened to murder me on more than one occasion
And that shit hurts
And that shit kills me
Feelin' like my brother's gonna be the man that kills me
Some of the time, that my nigga, that's my guy
When ever he high that's a whole 'nother side
Doctor Jackyl, Mr. Hyde
He's a whole 'nother guy
And i know he mean it when i look into his eyes
I'd kill for my brother
Rob and steal for my brother
I'd die where i stand for my brother
And that's how i feel about my brother
And Yet i still pray i don't die by the hands of my brother
And i have nightmares that i gotta fight him back
To keep him from hurting me
I swear i don't like that
And i'm gonna keep trying
It might be a lost cause
But i'd never let him go
Just wipe the frown off my heart
[Hook] (x2)