Unchained Monologue

I love you means do what I want you to
I promise means means I tell you what you want to hear

Believe me means I'm trying very hard to deceive you
The rest of my life means for the foreseeable future

We'll always be together means we're too scared to split up
I want us to live together means I think this is what you want,
Though I don't, But we'll probably split up soon anyway

I didn't stop thinking about you means I thought about you once
On the way home from a great night out, without you

It doesn't suit you means I'm too polite to tell you
That you're legs are like corned beef

I'm not pissed means I'm so pissed I reckon I can convince you
That I haven't had a bottle of Jim Beam with my flat mate

I didn't look at anyone else means I went out with the girls,
Got so drunk, snogged every man I spoke to, and I'm feeling really guilty

I want to have your children means I'm pissed

It happened a while ago means I haven't stopped thinking about since

What are you thinking? means I daren't voice my feelings
Until I know exactly how you feel about me

You don't understand me means I've being lying to you from the very start

I like you a lot means I'm trying to persuade myself that I do
I need some time to myself means a night in with your best friend

Don't worry, the voice in the background is only the TV
Just friends means I slept with him once and I fully intend to do it again

Don't you trust me? means if you believe the crap I've just told you
My ex means my greatest regret

I don't fancy anyone else is a lie
I'm so confused means I know what I want and it's not you

This isn't working out means I've no intention of making sure it does
We've nothing in common any more means we never did,
But it seemed like it after a few pints

You've still got a special place in my heart means I've met someone else
Can we still be friends? means I know I've just broken your heart

I don't believe in love means I've been hurt and
I'm too scared to get involved again
I don't want a serious relationship means sex and no consequences
There's no one else means there's no one else right now

I'm not trying anything on means I know you don't want to,
But I reckon if I keep trying you'll give in

He doesn't understand me means I'm feeling unloved

I'd like to take you out sometime means this is my last,
Desperate attempt to pull tonight
You're not my type means you make my skin crawl

All men are useless means I've been hurt again