The Sense of No Being

J H

I have the certainty of having concentred
All the suffering of the world in me

I can't understand the reason for it
Just as existance in general
Why can't I dmit that existance leads to nothing?
And the being to the no being

I have the monopoly of the knowledge of suffering
And this is equal to live hanging from a precipice
Since all suffering is an abyss
I feel in me a pathological predisposition towards death

My life is a sinister agitation, a vertigo, a dramatic whirlwind
Why don't I leave this world?
Why death repulses me as much as life?
I haven't the minimum idea of why i am in this world

I feel as a terrible being full of darkness
A beast with A grotesque grin
Exaltated before the hope of nothing & the desperation of all

Burned by pain & hate
Anihilated by light & shadow
My symbol is death of light & the flame of negligence
All light fades in me

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