Scolding Wife

Well, I came into a scolding wife
A few short years ago
And ever since I lead a
Life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant
Around the room and inn
I should sell her to the devil for
A glass or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to
Work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself
And go and have her dram
I never chance to say a word
It's well I know my due
She'll follow me with the fire shovel
Up and down the room

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang
Myself if I get married again

When I get up at breakfast time
She'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time
I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time
At patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot
And I must drink the slop

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang
Myself if I get married again

Well, one I asked me scolding wife
If I could go to bed
She scarce gave me and hour on
The pillow to lay my head
When like a roarin' lion she
Came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and
Threw me naked on the floor

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang
Myself if I get married again

Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until
She finds my face she'll hoist me up in
Ridicule before the company
Saying', "Petticoats is your master and
Forever more shall be!"

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang
Myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself
I swear to God I'll hang myself
I swear to God I'll hang myself
If I get married again