“The Most Important Musical Event of 1976”

Don Pardo: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Ron Delsener is proud to present the most important musical event of 1976, the concert New York has been waiting for since the old days at the Garrick Theatre. Hi! I'm Don Pardo and it gives me a great personal thrill to be able to shout at this time the name of the group that will bring you an evening of music designed to BLOW YOUR MIND! Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, here it is, ZAPPA!

FZ: Nice . . . We have a note along with the bullets, it says, "Please, give this to the Ohio Enema Bandit. We love your shoes." It's the Illinois Enema Bandit—unless there's another one working in Ohio, but if we find one in Ohio we'll certainly give those to him. "This is from Diane and Ellen. Thank you very much" . . . Well, ladies and gents, welcome to the last of our New York concerts, and I'd like to say that we have enjoyed hitting on this series of shows for you and we're gonna try and make this one the very best, most special one . . . I know that many of the people in the audience have bought tickets to the whole series of concerts, and uh, we think that's . . . that's telling us something about the kind of fans we have in New York—you guys are out of your fucking mind, aren't you? . . . Well, that's nice. We like to have people like that . . . And tonight we're going to open the same way we did for the last few nights, with a song that is very close to my heart, folks . . . Huh? "Muffin Man"? No, it's not "Muffin Man," no, guess again . . . No, wrong again, the name of this song is "Peaches En Regalia."