King of All Trades
The doge of Venice and council of ten were watching their town go astray
The coffers are lean, there's no money to spend, it's a state of financial decay
The cobblers are squabbling and no making shoes
The vintner have gone and forsaken the booze
The merchants are marching demanding we choose
Just what is the king of all trades, aha, just what is the king of all trades
The doge of Venice and council of ten took cloaks and went out to the street
There they were swarmed by a jostle of men who could barely keep up on their feet
The shipwright came forward and puffed up his chest
"When there's goods to be carried my fleet is the best
They just make the stuff I take care of the rest
Of course iI'm the king of all trades, aha, of course I'm the king of all trades."
The dye master elbowed his way through the crowd and laughed in the ship master's face
"I cannot imagine what makes him so proud when my tubs could beat his in a race
His ships are turned back 'cuz their rats are infected
His sailors are brawling but that was expected
He always makes sure that his backside's protected
He'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades."
The wizened old jeweler peered up through his lens and scoffed at the dye master's rant
"I see that he's screaming blue murder again when we all know his vat's on a slant
The water down river from him is vermillion
And all of his colors go grey when it raining
And you don't want to know what that indigo stain is
And he'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades."
The tailor came up as he skirted the mob and willingly joined in the fray
"I'm not one for making a cutting remark but that jeweler will lead you astray
He'll sell it as gold when it's copper beneath
He buys his glass gems from a kid up the street
I've seen him pull fillings from dead people's teeth
He'd never be king of all trades, aha, he'd never be king of all trades."
The doge of Venice and council of ten were quietly inching away
When the smith came up through the gaggle of men "I'm delivering my goods for the day
There's nails for the shipwright and hooks for the dyer
There's tools for the jeweler (and his dentistry pliers)
You call yourselves workers but I call you liars
With talk of the king of all trades, pshaw, your talk of the king of all trades."
The doge of Venice and council of ten looked one to the other with glee
"We thank one and all for the effort you've spent, it has certainly helped us to see
I think we have found where our king has been lurking
He sticks to his job while you others are shirking
He makes you your tools so you all can get working
We declare him the king of all trades, aha, the smith is the king of all trades
Aha, the smith is the king of all trades"