Beliefs (Upon Contact)

I will stay calm and collected but just for a moment
I have forsaken my motions and now feel broken
Caught in a radical state feeling progressive in a way
But emptied of all structure I feel like my life has been stripped away
Sometimes when I close my eyes I see myself as an empty cathedral
And I can't help but yield those, those lackluster vehicles tiny engines
That encourage my deepening state of confusion
Without her to hold I feel like I can't keep control over my original visions
I've seen the cinematic adaptations of broken relations
But first hand experiences the only way to understand the emotions that come with it
Those moments of wishing things were different
Cliche it may seem but I feel like it needs to be evaluated
Those forgotten messages I whispered under my breath
Every time I thought about the future I wanted to possess
Then those dark reminiscent nights lost in thought
When questions not answers is all I got
Was it something I said?
If not, I promise it will be because I'm not giving up yet
I try not to speak from the heart but from my head
But today's an exception and my words were reflected
My lungs hurt from inhaling the past
I feel like a ship with a broken mast
Following a north star, a course far, a horse par
That never wanted to meet a path I never wanted to seek
Desiring to be free
Desiring to forget the memories floating off behind me
But still somehow hoping this is all a terrible dream
And things will go back to how I thought they were meant to be
I'm a monster to my own philosophies
Basing my happiness off of anything I can grasp that won't kill me
Just so I can feel something
Just so this pain can mean something
Maybe not to me at least to somebody
And when I leave this present darkness and harness enough self respect to move out
Out of the stickening wall between acceptance and reluctant help
So please remove this fleeting need to feel her touch against my flesh
And replenish that ambition I once had to seek authentic love again
Because as long as we keep dreaming our hearts continue beating
And love will find us even if we're sleeping

And love will find us even if we're sleeping