The Telephone

Ya ever drop your last dime in a public phone
Have it keep your dime not even give you a tone
And you beat that silly contraption with your fist till it comes off the wall
Or did you ever place a call to St Louis direct
And get the Civil Defense in Connecticut
And operators say well ain't that the number you called

And my phone bill that's wrong about half the time
And I always get this operator on the line
And she says well Mr Reed ya just called this place on your phone
And I say lady look I don’t know a soul livin' in Tokyo
And the only way I can pay this phone bill is when I mortgage my home

Well you can find 'em in every home
This thing called the telephone
It's the ultimate in modern day design
When it ain't out of order then the number's been changed
Or it's disconnected or it just won't ring
Why it's enough to drive a sane man clean out of his mind

Did you ever place a call on a hectic day
And you couldn't understand a word nobody had to say
And you keep tryin' to get your operator to come back on the line huh
You stand there and you click that lever till your face turns blue
And finally she comes buttin' in on you
And she says your three minutes are up you're out of time

Now I've had to stumble through the house without a light
To get to the phone in the middle of the night
And I stumble over every stick of furniture in the house just gettin' there
So with a skinned shin and a busted toe I grab the phone
And I say a hello and all I get is ah ah ah in my ear

Well son you can find 'em in every home...

Alright this is my last time with my last dime

Operator what huh I know well I know that huh
But uh uh uh operator operator well I know you're sorry
What huh I spent fifteen minutes I’ve been dialin' home
What ya you said that oh wait uh operator
Yeh huh give me my dime will ya gimme my dime back
I gotta go to the bathroom listen what is this oh nuts