West Texas Waltz

When you're ready or steady
To go dancin', romancin'
Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car
Drive right on down
To the bright side of town
You'll be glad you don't have to drive far
You'll be happy you don't have to go far

Park your pick-ups and Cadillacs, Fords and Renaults
Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas waltz

My pickup needs a tune-up,
I better get up and make up
My mind to get on it today
The tractor's been actin' up
And the sewer lines are backin' up
But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway
I'll go dancin' tonight anyway

'Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults
I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

Well I found a young cow-dog
An' I told him: "Now, now Dooh
"You're a borderline collie, I'm a borderline fool"
But he had some bad habits
He was scared of jack rabbits
I sent him off to canine school
I think they call it obedience school

When he came back, he couldn't tell a cow from a horse
But he could dance like the dickens to the West Texas waltz

Grandmammy, grandpappy
If you wanna stay happy
Better lace up your best dancin' shoes
Come see us, don't write us
You can stop your arthritis
Just by dancin' away your blues
Now, just by dancin' away your blues

So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze
And come dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz
Oh yeah

I met a fine lady banker
And I'd sure like to thank her
For the credit she gave me made me shout
She changed my whole attitude
And to show her a little gratitude
I decided I'd just ask her out
Yeah, I thought I just might ask her out

I said close up your windows, and lock up your vaults
And let's go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

We spent the next to last dollar
At the old ice cream parlor
On a milkshake and a malt and a pop
And then we heard us some sounds
Was a honky-tonk lounge
Next door to the ice cream shop
Next door to the ice cream shop

Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts
And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

And the other is somethin'
But really it's nothin'
To speak of, it's somethin' to do
If you've done it before
You'll be doin' it some more
Just as soon as the dancin' is through
Right after the dancin' is through

And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because
You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz