Royale With Cheese

Dialogue Written by Quentin Tarantino
JULES
-- okay so, tell me again about the hash bars?
VINCENT
Okay what d'you want to know?
JULES
Hash is legal there, right?
VINCENT
Yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't
Walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin' away. I mean they
Want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
JULES
Those are hash bars?
VINCENT
Yeah, it breaks down like this, okay: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own
It and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's
Legal to carry it, but that doesn't matter 'cause -- get a load of this,
Alright, -- if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them
To search you. I mean that's a right that the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
JULES
Oh, man -- I'm goin', that's all there is to it. I'm fuckin' goin'.
VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
It's the little differences. I mean they got the same shit over there, we got
Here, but it's just there's a little difference.
JULES
Examples?
VINCENT
Alright, well you can walk into a movie theatre in Amsterdam and buy a beer.
And I don't mean in a paper cup. I'm talkin' 'bout a glass of beer. And in
Paris, you can buy a beer at MacDonald's. You know what they call a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
JULES
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
VINCENT
No, man, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck
A Quarter Pounder is.
JULES
What'd they call it?
VINCENT
They call it Royale with Cheese.
JULES (repeating)
Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac?
VINCENT
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac.
JULES (repeating)
Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper?
VINCENT
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King. You know what they put on french
Fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
Mayonnaise.
JULES
Goddamn!
VINCENT
I seen 'em do it, man. They fuckin' drown 'em in this shit.
JULES
Uuccch!