Blame Game

[Verse 1: Jon Connor]
On a bathroom wall I wrote
"I'd rather argue with you than be with someone else"
I took a piss and dismiss it like "fuck it"
And I went and found somebody else
Fuck arguing and harvesting the feelings
Yo, I'd rather be by my fucking self
Till about two a.m. and I call back
And I hang up and I start to blame myself
Somebody help...
You used to cry cause both your parents was addicts and your sister was ratchet
So I made it my mission to get you up out of that shit
Probably my fault for trying to be a hero when I can't be
Or your fault for sending me DM's that said "Save me"
Shit I was trying, I know that we been had some ups and downs
At Xzibit house, found out you and some nigga fucking now
Lied and said you told him about us and that he don't mess with you
Well if ya'll ain't fucking, why the fuck this nigga texting you
While you was sleeping I'd go and pick up your phone
And said "babe is you okay? And let me know when you coming home"
So I put you on a plane like I'm done with you
I fly back to Flint and I'm back in the back of the whip choking and fucking you
I know you ain't getting this type of dick from that local dude
You was running game on me like this nigga was coaching you
I'm fucking girls over while you was fucking some other dude
In the beginning saw something in you, but that just wasn't you
Love no cost a thing, and that's why I wouldn't cheat
Western Union every week so you and your daughters could eat
Western Union every week so you and your kids could sleep
On a bed while your sister would throw you out on the street
Thought if I showed you California and the shit that I was doing with the music
You would stop being so motherfucking stupid
I wouldn't try to buy you, I tried to be by you
Wanted you and the girls to have a fucking better life too
Came home for Christmas, I think it was on a Friday
Drive to your crib, homies’ car was already in the driveway
I walked to the door, my future flashed before my eyes
I'm finally signed and I'm about to give it up over pride
See I just left Hawaii and now I'm standing in the hood arguing with a nigga over a bitch I was calling wifey
This nigga stood in front of you and said you was his side bitch, you still behind that nigga he looking at me like that's my bitch
Wanted to spazz, but we in somebody else's home
She kept telling me to leave cause she was already gone
1000 dollars in an envelope you can have it
I made sure you had it, even if I ain't had shit
Always said "Jon we're living too different lives"
Ain't know that's an excuse for you fucking two different guys
Outer beauty never hides the ugliness that's inside
Memories haunt my mind, but all I know is that I tried
Told you I'd leave you alone if you was really in love with him
We could never work cause you ain't never stop fucking him
It all was a lie, regardless of how I felt
Now I see you for who you are, can't do nothing but blame myself
For Real..