Don’t Put Me in a Corner
So I heard another boy went missing
The poor kid
Not to be poignant, but I wish I'd ignored it
Cause I didn't even believe
In witches before this
But now it's time to get my
Pitchfork and a torch it's-
Three o'clock in the morning
I probably ought to be snoring
Instead I'm getting lost in the forest
Don't call me Goldilocks
I don't want any porridge
Like I give a fuck which bowl's the coldest
Hottest or warmest i got bigger problems
Should've gotten insurance
For this trip, cause now I'm missing
Someone report it
Sure hope the cops brought a lot
Of chalk for my corpse, if-
They find it it'll be
Divided up into portions
Chopped and tossed into a bubbling cauldron
Along with body parts possibly
Belonging to orphans
The moment that you start running
Low on your resources
You're only on survival mode
Totally robbed of endorphins
I've stumbled upon a cacophonous chorus
Of the awfullest noises
There's a knot in my organs
But I got my dog at least
And I keep him off the leash
If he's barking up a tree then
You don't wanna ignore him
I've got a feeling there's
Some ominous force, this-
Godforsaken nature walk couldn't be
Farther from boring
I found a house with every orifice boarded
I think it might be haunted
Should I knock on the door? WITCH!
Who's gonna get your goosebumps bumping?
Don't put me in a corner
Hair raiser, got your heart rate pumping
Don't put me in a corner
Roll Camera, hope your nose is running
Got a tissue? Cause I really could afford one
Turn around I wanna show you something
No thanks, I'm looking at the corner
Staring at the wallpaper, cause I adore it
But I think the support
Beams need some reinforcement
This shithole's a little more more
Than just a fixer upper
If I were you I'd put it on the market
Get another
You could probably find a squatter
Or list it for rent
But if you move Mrs Witch
Tell me which way you went
Cause I don't need to see you
I can picture it in my head
I mean look at me
I'm already pitching a tent
I know I never should've
Been holding her totem
I saw the writing on the wall
But I don't know who wrote 'em
I really thought I had balls
But I'm not so bold in the scrotum
I wanna go home and crack open a cold one
Military training didn't prepare me at all
I'm converting my K9 into a therapy dog
Come here Bullet
Stay put and wide awake until daytime
With daddy in the corner
We'll be watching the paint dry
Who's gonna get your goosebumps bumping?
Don't put me in a corner
Hair raiser, got your heart rate pumping
Don't put me in a corner
Roll Camera, hope your nose is running
Got a tissue? Cause I really could afford one
Turn around I wanna show you something
No thanks, I'm looking at the corner
Yo, Goldilocks, you better be scared bitch
This predicament's worse than your
Three bears sitch it's time out for you
Does that seem fair kids?
Unless you dare turn to face me
The Blair Witch i'm gonna make you take a
Walk down memory lane
Cause I'm a devil manifesting your shame
Remember everything wretched
You're getting less and less sane
You're never finding the exit when
I am letting you stay
Setting the stage and you've been
Cast in a play the final act is beginning
And it's a tragedy, yay
You want someone to blame for
All this? Take a hint, dunce
Go sit in the corner, forget the witch hunts
Listen to my voice, follow the call
If you simply give it time
Promise you'll become enthralled
I see it in your eyes
You don't wanna die at all
But telling me to stop? Better
Off talking to a wall
Who's gonna get your goosebumps bumping?
Don't put me in a corner
Hair raiser, got your heart rate pumping
Don't put me in a corner
Roll Camera, hope your nose is running
Got a tissue? Cause I really could afford one
Turn around I wanna show you something
No thanks, I'm looking at the corner
Don't put me in a corner
Don't put me in a corner
Don't put me in a corner
Did I mention I'm Naked?
Woh, really? AHHHGGH!