Earth Girls Are Easy
[Intro]
(Is it true what they say about Julie?)
(There she is, let's ask her)
(Julie, did you really go out with an alien?)
Uh-huh
(What was it like?)
Real different
(By the way, where'd you meet him?)
[Verse 1]
I was nude sunbathing on my patio
When he was checking me out from his UFO
Guess he couldn't take it, 'cause he lost his cool
Crash-landed in my swimming pool
(Ooh, neat!)
[Verse 2]
So he beams over to me, starts licking his lips
Stroking his antennae and wiggling his hips
I'm no Albert Einstein, but I'm not that dumb
I know lust no matter what planet it's from
He said
[Chorus]
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls know how to please me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (easy)
[Verse 3]
(Was he cute?)
No way! Definitely un-cute
Total grossorama, slick as a slug
With his Shake 'N Bake complexion and eyes like a bug
Way beyond weird, I wanted out of there quick
He was a cross between Flipper and Alan Thicke
(Ooh)
[Verse 4]
I ran in the house, I locked every lock
I was not gonna party with some horny little Spock
All of a sudden, I screamed in horror
He was groping my leg through the doggie door
[Chorus]
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (easy)
[Bridge]
I can't go on, what happened next
Is just too personal to put in a pop song
(If it's that bad, you have to!)
Promise you won't tell?
(Uh-huh)
His touch was a love drug, I had to have more
The next thing I knew, I opened the door
Come in, space monkey
Kiss me here, kiss me there
He still looked disgusting, but I didn't care
(Give us more detail!)
Oh, how do I describe it?
Well, you know how a blender has twelve speeds?
Well, when he got up to purée, I thought I would die
But when he put it on liquify, I wanted his baby
Oh, yes, yes
Is that your tongue?
(One of them)
That sure is a big piece of machinery you've got
(I made it myself)
Oh, you space stallion
(There's no ride like this at Disneyland, baby)
(Oh, synchronize, synchronize)
(I'm docking, I'm docking)
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
And to think we did all that without even touching
[Verse 5]
Now I'm back to my senses, and he's light-years away
If he's listening in space, I have something to say
I took the lock off the doggie door
So come back, moon doggie, when you're ready for more
[Chorus]
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls know how to please me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (sleazy)
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (easy)
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls, love how they tease me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (very easy)
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy
Earth girls know how to please me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (easy)
(Yahoo!)
[Outro]
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy (ha-ha, I like them)
Earth girls know how to please me (hubba, hubba, hubba)
Earth girls, Earth girls are (yippee! I'm stuck)
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy (insatiable)
Earth girls know how to please me (who is Alan Thicke?)
Earth girls, Earth girls are (yabba-dabba-doo!)
(I'll call ya)
Earth girls, Earth girls are easy (thanks for the memories)
Earth girls know how to please me
Earth girls, Earth girls are (up, up and away!)