I Hate Men

Cole Porter

I hate men
I can't abide them, even now and then
Than ever marry one of them I'd rest a maiden rather
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother
Of course I'm awfully glad that mother deigned to marry father
But I hate men

Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy
I hate the most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy
He may have hair upon his chest, but sister, so has Lassie
Oh I hate men

I hate men
They should be kept like piggies in a pen
Don't wear a traveling salesman, though a tempting Tom he may be
For on your wedding night he may be off to far Araby
While he's away in Mandalay, 'tis thee who'll have the baby
Oh I hate men

If thou shalt wed a business men be weary, oh be weary
He'll tell you he's detained in town on business necessary
His business is his business with his pretty secretary
Oh I hate men

I hate men
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen
If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism
He'll always stay at home at night and make no criticism
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism
Oh I hate men

From all I've read alone in bed from A to Z about them
Since love is blind, then from the mind all womankind should rout them
But ladies, you must answer to, "What would we do without them?"
Still I hate men

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