Aborted Child

You know, there's some things in life
You just gotta live with, man
You know what I'm sayin'?
Some choices that we make you
Just gotta live with, you know?
Some of those choices still haunt me though
Let me explain

Ayo, I laid there for a while
That was the first chance that I had
To speak to my aborted child
He said "I don't like the way
That you did my mother
Why did I have to suffer
Because you didn't love her?
Must've had it confused from how
You kissed and hugged her
Me and your other son will
Always be distant brothers
I don't got love for you anymore
See, I loved my life, what you ruined it for?
How could you get rid of me
When you knew I was yours?
For something that I had nothing
To do with at all
So what if momma was a whore
And she wasn't your wife
Why would you fuck her raw
If she wasn't your type?
Now I gotta suffer for mamma mistakes
She was a black girl lost
So can I get a break?
Now you can judge my mother
But don't judge me
How could you love my brother
But don't love me?"

(To my aborted child)
How could you not consider
Yourself a deadbeat?
You took care of one child and never fed me
(To my aborted child)
How could you not consider yourself a loser?
It's 'cause of you I ain't got no future

I was just a few days shy of my 19th
Birthday when I heard the
Words "You're pregnant"
I figured that this meant I needed to decide
If I wanted to become a mother
Not realizing that I already was
I chose abortion because
Well-meaning loved ones
Encouraged it or offered no alternatives
I didn't think that I would
Be able to finish college
I was ashamed to be
Pregnant outside of marriage
It was so easy to believe the lies that
What would be removed was simply a piece
Of tissue, that by having it removed I
Could easily go on with my life
Never looking back