Depression(infinite sadness)

I was at my door knocking, been to medicine, but they said it ain't philoletiment
Hurts in my head are knocking, but it's really talking, grip on reality
I was at my door knocking, been to medicine, but they said it ain't philoletiment
Hurts in my head are knocking, but it's really talking, grip on reality

Never really changed what happened in the past, no past it
Hurts to see a therapist's word because of it, but I ain't caught up with it
It's because that's how it was, never really pictured it
Bet you want my happiness to reach the summit, learn to love myself again

Science eyeballs living in, you do have to clear your mind, don't want to think about it
Science settles in, unsettle it
After a while, sick of the past, you bet you break
Little mistake, but your mindset is fake

Wish you had done this right
Tell you to do it every night, see yourself exercise thinking
Medication amounts to lows, peaks till the pressure really blows
Everyone around you could be damaged and you know how it is

Look in your face, see what's inside your mind, being medicated
Or go to a psychiatric hospital, but they can keep you heavily sedated
Seems like you might as well smart
Head for the hills, better take those pills

Like how it feels, what it steals
Use friends for everything, that's what it steals
I guess scars are running deep, memories ready to keep
These were all things I'd make, my eyes wanted to sleep

But we would know us right there, we're in a nightmare
Tears fall upon my face, it's a real scary place, you have to be seen
What's gonna feel like Halloween
These flames out the get-go, really hard to let go

Demons never run away from me, never really finish me
Feel like I'm the only one
When damage is already done, now I'm stuck with tears
How sad I am at a loss of peers

Wasn't ever that I'd maybe be able to dine a few beers
Set apart two friends from peers
Feel all these years
Things that aren't meant to burn away in the worst

The fear is already there
Making friends, they can feel divided
Making friends, be excited
Your fear will be ignited

Thoughts are your charge to sort them
They're your knife of boredom
Feel like the pain of grinding seems to go
It's always on a loop, always on repeat

Have no friends to be able to defeat
I'm stuck in a dark place, my heart doesn't beat
Always stuck in a family when I wanted to keep my sanity
Papers on my purse

Never did I expect worse
Never did my confession when I got depressed
I was way in my direction
I was at my door knocking

Been to medicine, but the sedative didn't let him in
Hurts in my head are knocking
I've been truly talking, grip on reality
I was at my door knocking

Been to medicine, but the sedative didn't let him in
Hurts in my head are knocking
I've been truly talking, grip on reality
I was at my door knocking

Been to medicine, but the sedative didn't let him in
Hurts in my head are knocking
I've been truly talking, grip on reality
I was at my door knocking

Been to medicine, but the sedative didn't let him in
Hurts in my head are knocking
I've been truly talking, grip on reality