Al O’Peesha

He works in a bank from nine to five
Then he goes for a wank and a sneaky hand jive
He's bald as a coot, coz he plays pink flute, he's a slap-head and a baldy
He's right down to the wood
He won't get herpes (hairpiece) he can't pull fluff
We call him fairy, rear admiral, poof
He drinks Dubonnet, he don't understand
He's happily married to his left and right hands
Al O'Peesha, I think that Duncan Goodhew wants to meet you

He's the one with the shiny pate, flogs his bishop, never ever copulates
His hair falls out whеn he masturbates, Duncan Goodhew's a vеry good mate

He was thinner than Yul Brynner, smoother than Kojack
But he supped some Boddies (somebody's) bitter, and his thatch grew back
Now there's fanny all around him, he's always pulling crack
But he used to be a ginger and the new bit's grown back black