Calzonification WITH LYRICS

*Spoken*

Peppino:
*Scream*

The Vigilante:
And whaddya know
The harden'd criminal
Responsible for 613 dead cheeseslimes...
Bit fatter than I imagined
But I'm no artist

Peppino:
HEY!!!

The Vigilante:
Pick up the gun, sonny

*Sung*

The Vigilante:
Draw
In the face of the law, pullin' at scraps

Halt
You're 'gainst Justice's maw
You need my handicap!

This tramp of a sheriff's no stranger
To steppin' down fair

But I shoot quick
Quicker than anyone else, so beware!

Peppino:
Quick shots at the ready
But my aim is steady alone

Though I am no criminal
It's all been liminal, I'll still face the unknown

*Spoken*

The Vigilante:
HEY! Hands where I can see 'em, pard'ner!

Peppino:
YOU LITERALLY GAVE ME THIS GUN

The Vigilante:
Huh
That there was just a classic sheriff test
And, you passed
Better than most, outlawr...

Peppino:
I'M INNOCENT TOO!!

The Vigilante:
You're about as innocent
As the sun is settin'
Doggone it

*Sung*

Peppino:
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To save my life's work from you
Everything I've worked up to
Won't be stomped out by the new

Got my grip still on the gun
Won't stop now my greater run
Peppino will not be done
Until he's conquered and won

Background voices:
GUILTY!
GUILTY!

The Vigilante:
You done stepped into the wrong town

Background voices:
GUILTY!
GUILTY!

The Vigilante:
So pack it in, you're goin' down

Background voices:
GUILTY!
GUILTY!

The Vigilante:
I wear the western version of a crown

Background voices:
GUILTY!
GUILTY!

The Vigilante:
For my whole kind
You're on the wrong grounds!

Draw
You know all of us saw
How do you plead?

Halt
In the name of the law, we will be freed!

Draw
Don't stay standin' in awe

Background voices:
GUILTY!
GUILTY!

The Vigilante:
Halt
This is the final straw, it's what we need!

*Spoken*

The Vigilante:
Alright, feller
I think we both see that
This town ain't big enough for the both of us
So one final draw
All the marbles

*Gets shot*

Peppino:
YES!!!