CoDA

I only talk about you every once in a while
Though I think about you all the time
I don't post no more sad shit that usually reminds me of what used to be you and I
Am I doing good?
Are you convinced?
Cause I hope you believe I've forgotten about you
When just the opposite is true
Oh darling
I know you and your friends still talk about me
I thought you said you fucking hated me
Does it just get boring sometimes when I'm not there to make you laugh?
And I've got so much pride I can only write about you when I'm high
My mind won't let me believe I'm to blame for what's become of myself
And I don't know how much to blame you for
Or how much longer I can go like this for
I'm losing myself all over again
The twelve steps are laughing at me
Cause step nine can never happen, please
Just let me be and let me ride this out
Without having to see your face again
I don't wanna see your face again
You do nothing but make me unhappy
I wish I could quit you
I wish I could fucking hate you darling