So You Think You’ve Got Troubles

[Chorus]
So you think you've got troubles
The more you try the worse you get
So you think the world don't like you
Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

[Verse 1]
Now, my car sounds like an old tin can
My wife went off with another man
And I strained a muscle on my fishing hand
My income tax is due
Now I lost my money in a poker game
And I think my left leg is a-goin' lame
And my brother asked if I'd change my name
And that's what I think I'll do

[Verse 2]
My doctor told me not to smoke
Drink nothing stronger than a Coke
I'm not even supposed to hear dirty jokes
For I'd laugh and strain my heart
I had every ailment known to man
From the African mumps to the dishpan hands
I lost every race that I ever ran
I didn't even get a start

[Chorus]
So you think you've got troubles
The more you try the worse you get
So you think the world don't like you
Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

[Verse 3]
Now some people call me a pessimist
They say that I oughta make the best of this
Well, maybe I am a pessimist
That's something that I wouldn't know
But one thing I do know, I'll tell you right now
I'm a-milkin' the wrong end of this old cow
And there's to many wrinkles in this boy's brow
That stuff has got to go

[Chorus]
So you think you've got troubles
The more you try the worse you get
So you think the world don't like you
Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

[Outro]
So I'm puttin' me a bar in the back of my car
And drivin' myself to drink