N2Ostalgia

When I look back at 18
I don't know if it's the same me
I wonder if I grew up
Or I lost myself
I was parked under dark trees
Twisting the car keys
Ghost floating past me
Pistons are ghastly
2Pac album never ends
CD skips again, again
It feels like I never left
In my home town the sky's big
Don't think when the indicator blinks
Check to see I'm handsome
The roof falling off like dandruff
Young kid, skin and bone
Stubble, Nescafe, live at home
Scribble rap shit as a joke
Drum and Bass, spinning wax alone
Trashy chicks with tattoos
Searching for them like a raccoon
Lift my feet up for the vacuum
Goals get put on hold
I've got all the time in worlds
I'd rather try and get a girl
Roll around the city in a swirl
Big ideas but a passive heart
All talk, no battle scars
B&H smooth, 40K
Fast food, yeah, I got a wage
Little fish in a tacky pond
Now I'm bigger in a massive swamp
Wanted to be the fucking vagabond
Put some mother fucking clothes on
Get a haircut, put your brogues on
One hundred dollar flight now
Wack cunt acting high brow
Put in my place very fast
Girl crush in my art class
Best friends live in Messenger
Brain waves get a hard pass
Harsh industry at the heart
Rarely ever even about the art
No back pats, no wack abstracts
No Snapchat cats
20 something feeling jaded
I don't even know what my pay is
University said I'm famous
Real world kicked my fucking anus
I was eating sausage rolls
One dollar coffee, dirty cock and balls
Drunk a fucking jug for stress
Sniffer dog, drugs under dress
Hermit crabs crawl around in packs
Getting nervous on the surface man
Travel bug, burning man
Fuck that, I gotta work man
Not a nine to fiver, barely get a fiver
Not even on the line up
Why'd you put the price up
Still dehydrated writing shitty songs
In fucking A minor
Crunch time, coming out the dark
Night skies, running out of stars
I'm at war with a rhythm,
A lyric, a ceiling,
A way of living, with no division
Trying to keep my head straight is hard
The real world's not essays in class
Hard pill, you can't change the past
Feels like I'm a different person
Over the years, different versions
Was that really me somehow
The same guy at 17 right now
Trying to get my shit together like a second chance
But it feels like I'm never gonna get it back
The moment right now is the only power that I ever have
I gotta wield my choices like I'm never gonna have control again
Went from DJ to hip hop
Back to back, songwriter, singer, rip off
I've got no time to complain
I gotta embrace my past before it's too late