everything at once

Hate when you ask how I’m doing
I know that you’re just assuming
I’m better now, not bleeding out

Get outa bed on a good day
Lately that’s all I can do, hey
I go through hell, to hide myself

I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry

That’s why

I can’t cry
Im too anxious
Restless mind
I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine
but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once

Whatever I do I can’t slow down
Please don’t leave me alone now
Cuz when I stop, my demons talk

I’m coming off apathetic
I play it off like it’s an aesthetic
Clearly I care too much, but I’m fooling everyone

I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry

That’s why

I can’t cry
Im too anxious
Restless mind
I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine
but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once