The MCU Rap

All the fans around 'bout the
Get what they deserve listen as I run down
The entire Marvel Cinematic Universe
From Phase One to Phase Two to Phase Three
This is not chronological
It's in order of release
We got Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch
Drax the Destroyer
If you haven't seen the films
A final warnin' for spoilers
We goin' way back, almost twelve years ago
So without any further ado, here we go

In the very first spot
We got the homie Tony Stark
The only billionaire, playboy
Philanthropist on the block
Kidnapped by terrorists
He ruined their entire plan
Turned a box of scraps into
A fully-suited Iron Man
The guy who set him up was Obadiah Stane
Took the reactor out his chest and
Left Tony to die in pain
But with the help of Pepper Potts and Rhodey
He would soon prevail
Over the carbon copy Iron Monger
Sent him straight to hell

Next is the scientist, name is Bruce Banner
He turned into the Hulk because
He was foolin' with gamma
He fled to South America tryin'
To find an antidote
The army tracked him down
Couldn't beat the green animal
General Ross was mad
Wanted Banner to fear him
He injected Emil Blonsky with
The Super Soldier serum
On the streets of Harlem Emil
Raged as the abomination
But Hulk clapped him and pretty
Much stomped his face in

Ivan Vanko wanted to murder Tony Stark
He built an arc reactor fitted with
Whips and slashed his car apart
He was arrested, party time
Tony was lovin' it
Then Rhodey commandeered a suit and
Gave it to the government
After that Tony met the director of SHIELD
Justin Hammer made a bunch of drones
But Ivan's at the wheel
Now War Machine and Iron Man
Are fightin' off the drones
Tony starts to realize he cannot
Save the world alone

Thor was about to be king, yeah
He had the clout
But he was disobedient so Odin
Stripped his powers out banished to Earth
Now he's tryin' to get his hammer back
Meanwhile, his evil brother Loki
Had a planned attack
Releasing the Destroyer to kill Thor
And all his friends
Thor made a sacrifice provin'
He's worth again
With hammer in hand he wins
Retreated to his home
Loki "died" by suicide and Odin
Sat back on the throne

Okay, let's take it back to 1942
Steve Rogers tried to join the army
But he's just a scrawny dude
So they gave him Super Soldier serum
Now he's a fighter
But Red Skull's got the Tesseract
The enemies hailin' Hydra
Tried to bomb the shores of America
Rogers stopped it
Crashed the bomber in the Arctic
He was frozen in a cockpit
For seventy years
Nick Fury found him and then
He thawed him out told him that he wanted to
Save the world, yeah
I'm talkin' about Avengers

Loki isn't dead, he wanted to rule the Earth
And the fact that the Avengers fought
Each other made it worse
Loki stole the Tesseract from SHIELD
To open up a portal
That would unleash the aliens
Against defenseless mortals
Rogers, Stark, Romanoff, Thor, Banner
And Barton fought the hordes of Loki's
Army, the Chitauri, it was hard
But Tony threw a missile at the
Mothership and closed the hole up
Hulk slammed Loki, puny god, that was so nuts

Tony Stark is sufferin' from
Panic attacks and PTSD
Things are getting messy
Televised Mandarin's very threatening
Feeling himself
Tony gave the world his real address
Helicopters bombed his home and then
He almost drowned to death
Aldrich Killian is really the Mandarin
What a plot twist
Kidnapped the president then took Pepper
Potts as a hostage
With Extremis in his body
Aldrich almost won the day
But Pepper's superhuman too
Blew up a bullet in his face

Jane Foster fell in a portal
Infected by the Aether malekith, a dark elf
Woke up and tried to reach her
Thor took her back to Asgard and
Tried to remove the substance
But Malekith killed his mother
Thor wanted justice vowing revenge
He got his brother Loki's assistance
On Earth, worlds are aligning
Things are getting intense
With a little scientific equipment
And hocus pocus
They opened a portal and killed
Malekith with his own ship

Rogers and Romanoff were out
Workin' for SHIELD
On a mission to retrieve encrypted
Data from the field
So Nick Fury's helicarriers were
Now ready to fire
That's when Cap discovered that SHIELD
Was overrun by Hydra wilson joined the team
Winter Soldier tried to kill 'em
Rogers couldn't understand his friend
Was now a villain
Helicarriers overridden so Hydra couldn't
Pull the trigger
Steve refused to fight his friend so
They all crashed into the river

Peter Quill is up in
Space plus Gamora, Groot, and Rocket
Get arrested and along with Drax
They managed to escape
Tried to sell a magic orb
But little did they know
The thing that they would try to
Sell was an Infinity Stone
Ronan stole it so he could
Kill every person on Xandar
The team beat him after distractin'
Him with a dance-off
Groot sacrificed himself, yeah
That was a tragedy
But now the friends are known as
The Guardians of the Galaxy

The Avengers fightin' Hydra
On the battlefield
Then unintentionally made a murder
Robot that'll kill
Ultron was born, he recruited the Maximoffs
But then they switched sides 'cause Ultron
Was gonna blast 'em all
Tony used the Mind Stone of JARVIS
Call him Vision in Sokovia
They battled a lot of robotic henchmen
All the citizens escaped
Pietro died protectin' Barton
Ultron is destroyed but that's when Thanos
Goes and grabs his gauntlet

Scott Lang just got out of prison
Times is real tough
Hank Pym tested him to see
If he could steal stuff
Gave him the Ant-Man suit
Shrunk him down to size
Hank's daughter Hope trained him up and
Taught him how to fight
A guy named Yellowjacket
He wanted to sell the secrets
Of the Pym particle to Hydra
But he gets defeated
When Scott goes subatomic
Barely made it out the quantum realm
Hope becomes The Wasp
These bad guys will not prevail

Bucky was impersonated to make it look like
He killed the King of Wakanda
T'Challa wanted revenge
That's not the only problem
The UN tried to make 'em
All sing some accords
Two opposin' views that started a civil war
Spidey showed up to prove that he's a hero
Most of the conflict was caused by Baron Zemo
Steve stopped Tony from blowin'
Bucky to bit's you could say at this point
The Avengers don't exist

Steven Strange used to be
The world's best surgeon
Until he broke his hands
That's when he started searching
The ancient one and Mordo would
Train him at Kamar Taj in his studies
He would find out that magic can be dark
Kaecilius released Dormammu from
The dark dimension with the Eye of Agamoto
He's beaten into submission
With repetition the earth is safe
And everybody thanked him
Now he's the master of the
New York City sanctum

Guardians always on the run
From different factions
The Sovereign and the Ravagers want
A piece of the action
Quill finds out that he's the
Son of a Celestial
Mantis helps out, she knows Ego is unethical
With the help of Nebula, Kraglin, and Yondu
Baby Groot bombed the brain, Ego is fondue
Yondu saved Peter, sacrificed himself
Ravagers far and wide came
Along to pay respects

Next up is your
Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man
Every now and then he had to
Go and check with Iron Man
Peter Parker's fifteen fighting
The hired goons
Of a flying thief, The Vulture, Adrian Toomes
Peter was dating his daughter
That was awkward
The two started fighting on the
Beach of Coney Island peter won
Stark and Happy invite him to the Avengers
But in the end
He knows he's not ready to be a member

Odin died, Hela's colder than an icebox
Crushed Thor's hammer then she knocked
Him off the Bifrost stranded on Sakaar
Thor is taken by a Valkyrie
And forced to fight the Hulk
That was almost a casualty
Him and his friends flew
Inside the Devil's Anus
And they made it back to Asgard
Hela's murders were heinous
They try to fight but
Realize they couldn't manage
Only way to kill his sister
Was to Ragnarok the planet

The Black Panther, leader of Wakanda
T'Challa's gotta deal with all the
Secrets of his father
Killmonger was abandoned on his own
But he defeated T'Challa
Now he's standing on the throne
He wanted to use the Vibranium
Strictly as a weapon
That's when T'Challa stepped in
Gave him his final lesson
With Shuri and M'Baku
It's a new administration
He knows that he should share
His technology with the nations

To get the Stones, Thanos was on a mission
He planned to kill half of
All life in existence
Heroes tried to fight but
He's an unstoppable monster
To get the Soul Stone he
Killed his own daughter
In Wakanda, people getting slaughtered
Vision ends up dead, Thor
Hit's him with Stormbreaker
Shoulda gone for the head
He gave his fingers a snap
Half the people turned to ash
Then he portaled to a planet where
He sat back and relaxed

Before the snap, Scott Lang was helping Hank
By going to the quantum realm to find
His wife from thirty years ago
A message suggested his wife was alive
But first Scott and Hope had
To fight some bad guys
Ghost appeared, stole the shrunken lab
Tried to fix her sickness
But they stole it back and got Janet
Out of there with the quickness
Janet gave Ghost quantum energy to stabilize
But then Thanos snaps
Scott's the only one that stayed alive

Vers was a Kree, crash landed on the planet
Nick Fury tried to help her see
The past and understand it
Turns out she's from earth and
Her real name is Danvers
She was fed a bunch of
Lies from her Kree commanders
She took out the implant
That suppressed her powers
Indestructible, destroyed a fleet
Of Kree cowards
Now she helps the Skrulls find
A place without danger
But if Nick Fury needs her all
He's gotta do is page her

About a month after Thanos did the snap
The last of the Avengers found
Him cooking in a shack
Sliced his hand off but it's too late
He destroyed the Stones
So Thor chopped his head off
Everybody went home
Five years later Scott made it
Out the quantum realm
He rushed to the Avengers and told
Them that he could offer help time heist
They would all just travel to the past
Get the Stone one by one, reverse the snap
Then put 'em back

Nebula got caught and her
Double took her spot
For the Soul Stone Romanoff jumped off a rock
Everybody put their Stones inside
Of the nano gauntlet
Thor wanted to snap but Hulk
Told him "I got this"
The snap brought 'em back
Nebula planned a coup
She used the time machine to bring
Back Thanos and his crew
Thor and Tony Stark was trying
Hard to beat the Titan
Captain Rogers grabbed the hammer and he
Got a couple strikes in

Thanos knocked him down to the
Ground and broke his shield
Doctor Strange showed up and brought
The heroes to the field
Portals began to open
Thanos began to tremble
Steve stepped out and
Said "Avengers Assemble"
Battlefield is full, Thanos army is no match
Tony grabbed the gauntlet snapping
Thanos off the map tony sacrificed his life
At his funeral they wept
Captain Rogers grabbed the stones and took
'em back where they were kept

What's next? Peter Parker? I think
That he's had enough
He wanted to go on vacation and
Ditch all the hero stuff
Nick Fury tracks him down
Says he can't because he's needed
Peter meets Quentin Beck and
Just hands over EDITH
Turns out Quentin Beck is
Really just Mysterio
He'll murder anybody with illusions
And some killer drones parker beats him
Spider Tingle was the remedy
But then Beck told the
World Spider-Man's identity

There you have it
That's what happened in the films
I hope that you could follow
And didn't get overwhelmed
RIP to Stan Lee, he was in every feature
Until phase four
Peace to all the true believers