Engine Driver

How long
Have I been sleeping?
I feel like I'm
Still dreaming
Threw it all away
So I'd stop going insane
But life remains the same
I can't see the change
I think that you said
That happiness is there
And I'll give you a last chance
'Cause I already gave up
A pill to make me feel
A shrink to tell me
How I should think
Withdrawal and abstinence
From God knows what
Damn, oh hell, shit, fuck!
Someone stop this ride
I've been on this train
For far too long
And I have checked
There's no engine driver
I'm holding a note that says…
Thankful for the life I have
But I fear the day itself
And my anger is increasing
I have time for everything
But all I do is hesitate
My patience is ceasing
Threw it all away
So I'd stop being the same
Almost like a game
You can't learn how to play
Even when I won
Without knowing the rules
I held the prize in pain
And forced another smile
Godlike sex, success, excess
Sometimes things would get a
Little intense
I swear that I have felt God
I once heard him apologize
Someone stop this ride
I've been on this train
For far too long
And I have checked
There's no engine driver
I'm holding a note that says…
Someone stop this ride
I've been on this train
For far too long
And I have checked
There's no engine driver
I'm holding a note that says…
That I should go
To the engine myself
And take control
I did so and now I'm here
And I don't want to stop
The landscape is beautiful