Bucket List

Part I: Bucket List

[Verse 1]
When I'm old and I look back at life
From this old death bed of mine
I'll look back at when I told myself
One day, you won't wake up
What will I have accomplished
Between now and then
I done picked up the pen
A couple of times, not 99
But more than ten
I just wanna tell the old me to stop
Wakin' up at noon
And just go to the fuckin' moon
Get a girlfriend, get in shape
Stop buyin' all of these pets
Go wrap yourself in some caution tape
Go and make some more bets
And follow up on your threats
Pay off all your debts
Then go off and buy that jet

[Hook]
And that's just a couple of things
I wanted to do before my death
But that shit still hasn't even happened yet
Cause me and my wife still haven't met, yo

[Verse 2]
Aye, and it's on my bucket list
To fuckin' skydive
And just maybe not survive
To stop drinking so much when I get upset
And stop dwelling on all my regrets
Just take a deep breath so I can fuckin'
Scream louder
All my bills are for the vet
That's something I'm not proud of
And they ain't for no fuckin' children
I exploit my diabetes to
Make myself a fuckin' skeleton
And if one day I should learn some discipline
And I actually took my fuckin' insulin
And stopped goin' down the route of
Imminent self-destruction
Maybe I'd have a good body and
Hit some ladies with some seduction

[Hook]
That's just a couple of things
I wanted to do before my death
None of that shit's even happened yet
Me and my wife still haven't fuckin' met

Part II: Happy Occasion

[Verse 1]
I missed you
I really loved you
Baby, every time I saw you was a
Happy occasion
Oh what a shitty, crappy decision
To start on our division
We're not meant to just be individuals
We lit the blunt like it was ignition
That shit was a happy occasion
We'd get in some fights
Like a scrappy contagion
Oh was that a little bit of a stretch?
If I was a little bit taller
They'd do a good police sketch
For when I catch
The motherfucker that took you
And made me meet my match
Since then I look at my reflection
And I tell him "Fuck You"
If I was a little bit less of a pussy
I'd fight him up in the streets
Throw him through a bar
And smash out all his fuckin' teeth
And make 'em into beads
Inside my necklace
Make 'em bleed
Cause he took my precious
If I was a little bit less fuckin' helpless
I could admit when I'm a fuckin' jealous bitch
I could run it up in the streets
I could get on the roof and scream
I could get into some reckless shit
Like my skull just split
And I don't know what happened
Now I'm throwin' 'em back
Like they're old fashioned
But I'm a fuckin' degenerate
I'm an advocate
From all the shit you done put me through
And what you made me do
It was on my fuckin' bucket list
To get a higher view
It was on my fuckin' bucket list
To get over you
To get all this shit done and over with
And now that's what I've got, exits
And it's all because of you
I no longer wish to exist
And it's all because of you
That I wrote this fuckin' bucket list