fantasy parade

I don't know what the fuck am I searching for
I still push away everything I've been praying for
I've been lost
Looking for more
Never been sure
Either that, or
I just need some sleep
It's a new feeling to suffer from
No one to dictate right or wrong but
Unknown unsure of what to do
Since I'm used to being alone.
Yet I'm feeling so filled, like a crowded space.
You walked into my life with a different pace.
Behind the wall, I don't want to be ahead of myself.
But every time I see your face, my heart race, smh.
Sleep becomes foreign,
flowin' away, day dreamin'
Of the how-abouts, the what-ifs
Like what if we just disappeared for one day
Punch the ticket one way,
Ride this high to the bitter end
I was blind-sighted,
from the sidelines,
I'm ready to throw the towel in
Lost in translations,
I threw myself in the deep end
Can't pretend we friends
Waves crashing, washed up on the sand
Your love may rain like a storm,
But don't come to my rescue
It's too good to be the norm.
This delusional home where I left you
It's a fantasy parade.