Moonsickness

There's so much to do
I'll never have the wherewithal
To do it all again
Or fucking do it all at all

I love you so much
I don't wanna go but
Everybody knows this place is dying as am I
I might not get another change
It's such a careful dance and
I am such a fuckup if you only knew
That I am such a fuckup

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars
And I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made
You seem to integrate so fucking well
But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots and death cramps
Injections and leakages
The election cycle and the tide
Aztec circles of the death of all deaths
But the beast refuses to die

In your guts you know it's all destroyed
You could've had a boy
If you had children now you think
You might just put them down
None of us belong
Everything I do is wrong
And soon there will be nobody left around
And in your blood you know what's right
And in your bones you know what's wrong
And in your throat you know you're lying to kids
And you know nobody belongs in this Hell
And there is not a single choice left to make
I am God's worst mistake
And you seem happy on the knife's edge
But I just lick the blade

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars
And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made
You seem to integrate so fucking well
But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots and death cramps
Gluts and depressions
The business cycle and the tide
Concentric circles of torture wheels
But the beast refuses to die

Atomistic rational behavior
Invisible hand savior
Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death
Who fucking told you you were selfish
Or even self-interested
Don't you think it matters when we with our friends the best
And fuck I'm not a Marxist
I'm not a fucking democrat
Because of all this bullshit I'm not anything at all
All I wanted was a framework
None of them can live here
There's nothing to believe in and there won't be until we fall
And it's not all you man
You were just a kid once
God I'm such a fuck up
If you only knew that I am such a fuck up

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars
And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made
I can't get the numbers right
I can't fucking count because not one goddamned thing is in its place

Blood clots and death camps
Gluts and depressions
The business cycle and the tide
You fuckers know it's all built on lies
But the beast refuses to die
And so I guess well neither can I