Newspapermen

Oh, newspapermen meet such
Interesting people!
He knows the low down (now it can be told)
I'll tell you quite reliably off the record
About some charming people I have known
For I meet politicians
And grafters by the score
Killers plain and fancy
It's really quite a bore
Oh, newspapermen meet such
Interesting people!
He wallows in corruption, crime, and gore

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, city desk
Hold the press, Hold the press
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
It's a mess, meets the test
Oh, newspapermen meet such
Interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the press
Now, you remember Mrs sadie Smuggery
She needed money for a new fur coat
To get insurance, she employed skullduggery
She up and cut her husband's only throat
She chopped him into fragments
She stuffed him in a trunk
She shipped it all back yonder
To her uncle in Podunk
Now, newspapermen meet such
Interesting people!
It must have startled poor old Sadie's unc

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, city desk
Hold the press, Hold the press
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
It's a mess, meets the test
Oh, a newspaperman meets
Such interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the press

Now, newspapermen meet such
Interesting people!
I've met the gal with million dollar knees
Oh, so the guy who sat
Five years upon a steeple
Just where the point was I could never see
Yes, I've met Capone and Hoover
And lots of other fakes
I've even met a genius
Who swallows rattlesnakes
Oh, a newspaperman meets
Such interesting people!
The richest girl who could not bake a cake

Ting-a-ling ting-a-ling
Ting-a-ling now, newspapermen are such
Interesting people!
They used to work like hell just for romance
But finally, the movies notwithstanding
They all got tired of patches on their pants
They organized a union to get a living wage
They joined with other actors
Upon a living stage
Now newspapermen are such interesting people
When they know they've got a
People's fight to wage

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, Newspaper Guild
Got a free new world to build
Meet the people, that's a thrill
All together fit's the bill
Now, newspapermen are such
Interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the Guild

Oh, publishers are such interesting people!
Their policy's an acrobatic thing
They claim they represent the common people
It's funny Wall Street never has complained
But the publishers have worries
For publishers must go
To working folks for readers
And big shots for their dough
Now, are publishers are
Such interesting people!
It could be press-titution, I don't know

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, circulation
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, advertising
Get those readers, get that payoff
What a headache, what a mess
Oh, publishers are such interesting people!
Let's give three cheers for
Freedom of the press