Catch 22

It's a catch 22
When I'm black and I'm blue
Hurts so much but I care too much to move

What do I do
Got so much to prove
The mirror looks down on me always I just wanna fill my own shoes

My biggest critic is me
It's so hard to deal with myself
Tryna achieve whats expected but that is too high on the shelf

I've always felt
It's not always time to go up
Patience is key
Flying to close to the fan brings the fear that I'll clip my own wings

Behind the scenes
People are not what they seem
People put on a facade to strike others with feelings of jealousy
It's got me questioning

Am I the truth
If I do this for me what is the point
Why do feel I it's an option to beg from my knees
Crying out please

Wonder if pain stricken pauper is what you all see
When you're looking at me
When you see me in public and look at my teeth
And you notice my walk and the way that I lean
Or the length of my hair or the size of my feet
Or the hop in my step when I'm crossing the street
No? Well that's a relief

But if that's the truth
Why are we all so self conscious
About everything that we do
It's a catch 22

It's a catch 22
When I'm black and I'm blue
Hurts so much but I care too much to move
What do I do

Look beneath the surface, look under the skin
At the person inside, who's buried within
Stressing so much I can see my hair thin

What if we lived
Like there's more than the car in your drive
And the chain on your neck
Or the cream on your face
And the size of your chest
Put it to Rest

People need not be impressed
If you want that stress
Be my guest

You're opinion's the only that matters
The sooner you teach yourself that
The sooner you life can unshatter
And you can put everything back

At the end of the day when they're digging my grave
they're digging my hole and their digging it deep
And they're carving my stone and they're writing my name
Composing the words that sit underneath
What will it be

Will I be known for the racks in my bank or the way I push through
Or the gas in my tank and the cash that I grew
Or that to my word I was true
It's a catch 22