MIND OF AN ADDICT

All day I think and obsess about it, I'm stressed without it
Think I'm less without it, I pace and I sweat without it
Sometimes I feel blessed to have found it
Other times I feel wretched and drousy
I need hard, soft, pills, drank
Tall cost, still pay
I need L, shrooms, ecstasy
All gone, feel drained
It's hard to pick my head up, fell behind now I'm playin' catch up
Hard to clean this mess up, in the darkness I've been enveloped
Startin' to get fed up, thinkin' "Now is the time to step up"
I just spark the wet up, this disease ain't gon' never let up
Fuck it though
"I got it under control" What I tell myself for the millionth time
Startin' to see I can't help myself
But to reach out for it, that's a mission I'm not prepared for
Jet on my back, I propel myself straight into a black pit
Self sabotage got me feelin' like Brad Pitt
Stretchin' what I got until my wit is at it's end
Walkin' round with baggage
And I'm sick of bringin' people in just to have 'em unpack it
But what can I say?
This the mind of an addict
I love the dope, I love the misery
I got to have it
I love the way I feel alone, just to have somethin' to cry about
And I'm comin' to grips with the fact the dope ain't somethin' I'll die about
And I got plenty more to say on the topic but, I'm sure you see my point
I can't have the pleasure without the pain so, I got to give it up altogether
But on the other hand
God damn that dope feel good
All day I think and obsess about it, I'm stressed without it
Think I'm less without it, I pace and I sweat without it
Sometimes I feel blessed to have found it
Other times I feel wretched and drousy
I need hard, soft, pills, drank
Tall cost, still pay
I need L, shrooms, ecstasy
All gone, feel drained